The Kirkgaard Method: “Take Two Deep Breaths and Call Me In The Morning” By Valerie Kirkgaard, Ph.D. (Honorary)

For the past twenty six years I have lived in the privilege of miracles through a process I developed called The Directed Breath – The Kirkgaard Method. Why is The Kirkgaard Method miraculous? When human beings release blocked energy from the past and change their lives dramatically, I call that a miracle. The blockages of the past actually shape our actions in the present, and our actions in the present define the future. How we think things will be, emerge directly from what we remember and how we interpret those memories. The process completes and releases past traumas and fixated experience. Notice I didn’t just say negative experience, I said fixated experience. Fixated experience is any experience frozen in the memory. It can be either positive or negative. Traumas are a class of fixated memory. It is out of fixated, or as Freud would say, cathected memory that our beingness in the moment is distorted and/or determined. If we are complete with our past experiences and images, freedom of choice and beingness in the moment is all there is. Perhaps another possibility exists as well. When we are free from the past we are able to be responsible for agreements we made with each other prior to our entry into this lifetime. If we accept this possibility, then surrender to destiny and personal authenticity would be right around the corner. How can this fixated memory or image distort your present? As an adult, I might be unable to maintain relationship because my mate will never be able to love me as perfectly as my memory says my grandfather loved me. By holding on to my exclusive affection for my grandfather, I make it impossible for my current partner to be in relationship with me. Here’s another example. I find myself being very uncomfortable when my husband wears his favorite green shirt, and I notice I’ve never eaten fish in my life. I could get upset with my husband for wearing a shirt that he knows bothers me, and I could enforce a ban on fish in the house. My preferred choice, however, is to be emotionally responsible and choose clearance over suppression. Through body sensation, I access the past, and discover that the man who sexually molested me as a child wore a green shirt and handed me a fish when he left. I access a memory that I had blocked many years ago, relieve the trapped emotions associated with it and create new freedom in my own personal life and in my relationship. Delicious fish now becomes a food item at the dinner table, not a reason to cringe. It gets interesting doesn’t it? Letting go of the past isn’t as difficult as it might seem if you are ready to “let go”. Some ways of letting go work for you more quickly than others. The Kirkgaard Method is quick and provides information on the cause of the blockage. For many people, understanding how they came to be dysfunctional and distorted in certain areas brings enormous peace. The Kirkgaard Method allows you to forgive your past and live in a state of consciousness called creation or the present moment. How can forgiving or completing your past open up the opportunity to create? When you forgive or complete your past, the pictures and images in your mind change. The way you remember the situation changes and the feeling you have about the situation evolves toward friendliness, love and understanding. It is from our memory of images and feelings that we create. If we have images filled with joy and laughter, we will create realities filled with abundance and satisfaction. Directed Breathing, The Kirkgaard Method works powerfully in all aspects of human frustration and difficulty. Clients come with many types of concerns ranging from relationships and finances to job transitions, childhood abuse, issues of creativity and time management. Many people confuse Directed Breathing with a process called Rebirthing created by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray. Though both processes use the breath, they are not the same. In Rebirthing, the Re-birther works with the client with connected breathing, and the client then releases from his or her body an issue from the past. The process uses the Re-birther as a spiritual assistant to support the client in whatever way is needed, and operates on the principle that what’s next is what comes up. The client usually handles one to two issues in the course of a one- to two-hour session. With Directed Breathing, the Breath Consultant and the client determine the issues to be covered. The appropriate body sensation is isolated and the process begins with the Consultant guiding the client through a series of experiences, all related to the issues at hand. Directed Breathing is a specific, goal-oriented process operating on the assumption that we can have whatever is ours to claim in the world, and if we don’t have what is ours, it is due to an emotional block. It is common to complete anywhere between 3 to 5 issues in a typical Directed Breathing session in the areas of your choice. Perhaps you find yourself in the same old situation with your money. The bills are all paid (or not paid) and there’s none left over. There never is any extra. Life is always about ‘just making it.’ Through Directed Breathing we discover you have thoughts that people who are rich are vicious and selfish. Where did that thought come from? Your rich grandmother was vicious and selfish in your memory. You thereby have evidence that the rich are vicious. When the emotional pain you carry is removed, you will no longer fear being vicious and selfish if you have money. Having money is now possible. We have about 50,000 thoughts per minute and out of those 50,000, we will select approximately 20,000 to create the future and interpret the present and past. Which thoughts will we select to create from? We will select thoughts, which agree with our memory of reality. Our un-forgiven and un-communicated experiences remain in our bodies, subtly and sometimes not-so-subtly affecting our every thought and conversation. They show up in the simplest gestures. Perhaps you hesitate when you reach for dessert as an old memory of getting your hand slapped skips just below the surface of your conscious mind. Most things you want to do and are unable to do are the result of incomplete experience and blocked emotion. These blockages show up in very subtle ways. For instance, although I have considered moving the furniture in the living room many times, the furniture still sits right where it is. I dream of expressing myself as an artist or writer, and yet I don’t do that. My family is very successful and I’m not. My relationships seem to end in disaster. I guess I’m not a very lucky person. People often get the idea “This is just life.” Your story will change, I promise you, as you complete the memories of the past. Your experience of life can change in a matter of minutes or seconds. If you want to get to Heaven on Earth quickly, go for those incompletion memories like a bird dog. The memories lie stored in different parts of your body: legs, shoulders, chest, elbows, nose, cheeks and so forth. Certain types of memories seem to be stored in certain areas. For example, sadness is often stored in the chest, embarrassment in the face, and issues of supporting oneself in the lower back. The legs often contain issues of going forward in the world. When the mind is deciding what course to follow in the future, it uses experiences stored in the body as evidence to act in a certain way. Those experiences are stored in the electromagnetic field of the body, in which the body manifests. Some experiences and their related charges are actually from another generation and passed down through the DNA. Many of our experiences of tight muscles, aches and pains are simple instances of past memories being re-stimulated by some current situation. Directed Breathing, The Kirkgaard Method, accesses these past in-completions and allows the experience to complete. Notice if you think of a warm sunny day and how you loved lying in the grass, you feel pleasant, and if you remember a time your mom spanked you, you feel tense. That pleasure or tension can be activated at any time. There is no one-way, people store the past. Some people store memories as tensions in the body and nothing more. Others have muscle tension stored with an accompanying visual image. While others store visuals only, with very little tension noticeable in the body. In the Directed Breathing process, a session would go something like this for a person who operates out of visual memory and muscular tension. Here is a very basic example. Client: “I’ve never felt close to my mom and everyone tells me what a great person she is. I’d like to feel differently about her. She is getting old and I hate resenting her.” Coach: “How old are you the first time you feel this resentment and what is happening?” Client: “I am 8 and I spilled the milk at the dinner table.” If they say, I can’t remember. Tell them to make it up. They will and it will be perfect. Coach: “Please breathe deeply and tell me what you feel as you are 8 and sit at the dinner table.” Client: “My arms are tense and I want to cry.” Coach: “Great, tell me what emotion you are experiencing?” Client: “I am eight and afraid I am going to get spanked and sent to my room.” Coach: “Good, now take two deep breaths, hold your breath and make the tension in your arms more intense and exaggerate the emotion. Let yourself be really afraid and exaggerate the emotion.” The Client deepens breathing and tension in arms becomes more intense. Coach: Is the feeling bigger, stronger, different or neutral?” Client: “Bigger.” Coach: “Great, how old are you and what is happening? Client: “I’m still 8 and I hate my mom is putting me in my room and spanking me for being clumsy again.” Coach: “Perfect, take two deep breaths and really get into hating your mom. Hate her with every ounce of feeling you have.” Face contorted in anger and fists clenched, the client follows the instruction. You can see the emotion field of the client shifting. Sometimes they stay with the same incident and other times they actually move to another event. You follow the chain of emotions until the client says they are flat or neutral. When you ask the client “Are you flat or neutral and they a simple “yes”, you move on to the next conversation. If they say “almost neutral” definitely go on. Coach: “Excellent, now what do you want to say to your mother?” Client:  Crying and scared says, “You scare me, why do you hit me all the time? I hate you.” Once identified and spoken, the hypnotic power of this electrical charge from the past is permanently discharged. Another way of saying it – when you allow yourself to simultaneously experience the emotion and express verbally whatever is present at the moment, total completion, or healing, occurs. Both are necessary in the same moment for the safe to be unlocked. The moment the client experiences the fear and utters the previously unuttered communication, that experience loses its ability to affect the life of the individual involved. Many times a person might say, “You scare me,” without fully experiencing the feeling, and nothing will happen. Casey Kasem, the radio personality, has a favorite saying which goes something like this: “The difference between the right word and an almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” So the object here is to have the client speak the exact words he/she suppressed at the time of the experience, coupled with the exact emotion. Now, the example session I’ve given you is very simple and brief, and most sessions are more complicated than this and some are not. Much of how you think life is, comes from incomplete past experiences. This is true for what you have to say about relationships, money and your profession. When your fixated images are released, what you have to say will be spoken by you powerfully and without resentment. Most people create their lives out of fear and limitation. We are taught to suppress. When you complete your past, you form your life from affection, possibility, desire and creative vision. Even though the fears of life are difficult to confront for some, the trading of fear for creativity and affection make the process worthwhile. Completing your past involves nothing more than being wiling to speak your truth and allow the associated emotions to be expressed at the same time. If it’s so easy, how come we don’t do it? We don’t do it because we perceive danger of some sort. We don’t do it because when we were three feet tall we thought we were going be left. We don’t do it because very tall, angry people called parents told us not to. We don’t do it because if and when we ever did do it, we got hit. As time went by, we developed ways of avoiding similar situations or we laughed nervously when something reminded us of the situation. Sometimes we stayed away form people we loved because there was something about them that reminded us of the past. You can see how the tragedy of being human has evolved. We were given no owner’s manual on the operation of this thing called a human body. Our parents didn’t know half as much as we know now. What I really want you to know is that everybody was doing the best they knew how. Parents want their children to grow up happy and have lives that were better than theirs. They want their children to avoid the pains they suffered. It is out of their desires and lack of understanding about how life occurs that parents sometimes did and said things which didn’t work. What I have to say to you is: “That is the past. To dwell on the past will not contribute to your life. Your parents and the people in your life did the best they could. It is up to you to find someone to work with to help you complete yourself.” The process I’ve designed creates heroes and heroines. It allows a return to basic values. Because the process releases fear from the being, the basic conversations, which make human beings so touching, courageous, creative, productive, loving and spiritual become exponentially empowered. As Goethe said, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Don’t settle for second best in your life, when first choice lives in your heart and the palm of your hand. You can hear Valerie’s radio program Wednesday’s at noon Pacific at WakingUpInAmerica.ComA veteran of the airwaves for the last 23 years, Val loves to create dialogues that make a difference. You may call her at 310 455-8623 or write her at: Val Kirkgaard, Ph.D. (honorary) – P.O. Box 813, Topanga, CA 9029

To experience the power of your breath, call 310 455-8623 to schedule your free consultation with Dr. Valerie. or email Doctor Valerie to set up a time, Email Dr. Valerie